Life in Bed: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

A few people have commented lately on the fact that I seem so positive throughout this entire situation--or at least from what they can tell from my blog.  The truth is, for the most part, I do feel positive about the situation.  I feel like what I'm doing (or not doing, ha!) is really helping and that keeping off my feet is letting my body rest and keeping the babies in.  The law of gravity at it's finest.  Today is officially marks FOUR WEEKS that I have been on strict bed rest.   I did have a bit of bed rest early in my pregnancy for an unrelated reason but it was more "modified bed rest" and I mainly just had to keep off my feet when I could and just not lift anything.  I had much more freedom.  That was a dream compared to this--if I only knew how good I had it then!

Anyways, I've kept my spirits up by trying to focus on the positive about this.  First of all, it has really reminded me what amazing friends, family, and neighbors Myke and I are so blessed to have.  So many people have stopped by to keep me company, brought me books, magazines, and movies, taken our dog on much-needed walks, brought food or sent "bed-rest goodies" over, run errands for us, taken Chloë out for awhile to give Myke and my mom a much-need break, and overall just put themselves out there as a pillar of a support for us during this time.  We are so lucky to have the support system that we have and I can't imagine getting through this without it!

Even just getting emails from people updating me on what is going on in their lives has been great--my laptop is my main form of connection with the outside world right now so keeping up with people that way is vital and definitely helps keeps me sane.  So keep the messages coming! :)

We are also lucky to have our parents who are willing and able to come out to help us in anyway needed at the drop of a hat.  It's a lot to ask for someone to take care of a very active (and sometimes saucy!) toddler on a full-time basis.  We are happy to not have had to enroll her in full-time daycare and that instead she gets to spend this time with her grandparents, currently "Gramma".  Chloë requires a lot of attention, not to mention the other household duties that my mom is currently covering (making meals, laundry, pet care, grocery shopping, cleaning, trying to nurse my neglected plants back to life, cleaning out Chloë's drawers and closets of clothes that no longer fit her, sorting through items for the new babies, etc...the list is never-ending).  My parents have been a HUGE help to us, and we know that Myke's parents have offered to come out and take over when and if (more likely WHEN) my mom needs a break.  All of this just gives us an enormous sense of peace of mind.

Also, I try to keep in mind that lounging in bed, reading, aimlessly browsing the internet, watching TV and just doing lazy things like that will probably NEVER happen again for the next 18 years, so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as possible!  Breakfast in bed every day!  Sweet!

I TRY to always focus on the above positives, but believe me there are (many) times when I'm just OVER it.  I miss not being able to pick up my daughter.  I haven't put her down for a nap or bed in over a month and I miss that.  I miss rocking her, reading to her and tucking her in.  I miss playing with her.  I miss the small things like picking out her outfits and brushing her hair.  I miss just being her mom and I sometimes fear she is going to forget who I am (even though I see her multiple times per day and know this is irrational) or she'll just wonder why mommy is so "lazy".  I miss walking my dog outside.  I miss just BEING outside. Sometimes I just want to jump out of bed and go for a jog in the beautiful weather we're having (ha! like I'd make it to the front gate without collapsing from a heart attack--I'm so out of shape from this I get winded when I walk down one level of stairs now!).  I miss cooking, and I didn't even really like cooking to begin with, I miss sitting in the sun, I miss the freedom to be able to walk down the street to get a coffee, I miss dinners out with Myke or with friends.  Mainly, I miss the freedom of being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it.

Bed rest really messes with your body as well. Like I mentioned above, I get winded now just doing the simplest of things lately.  I sleep on my side at night and when I need to switch sides it's quite the production.  I'm sure this is true of any pregnant person, bed rest or not, but I think the effort is definitely intensified due to my decreasing muscle tone.  It's difficult to watch oneself get increasingly out of shape.  Not that I was ever a marathon runner, but I was a pretty active person.  With my first pregnancy I was active the entire time and, as many of you know, was hiking just hours before Chloë was born.  This time I was able to get in ONE prenatal yoga class before being put on strict bed rest.  One.  I'll have a long road ahead of me to get back to a place that I'm comfortable with once all is said and done.  Lastly, I'm sick of relying on others for almost everything.  Whenever I need my water bottles refilled, a snack, or something else that isn't within reaching distance I have to call my mom or Myke on their cell phones and ask for it.

So those are my complaints...I somehow haven't gone too stir-crazy and have kept myself pretty busy.  I still haven't watched even one entire movie in the past 4 weeks.  Let's end on something else that's positive about bed rest--I don't need to buy many maternity clothes.  I can basically just rotate a few pairs of sweatpants and the shirts that I already have.  Lol..I know that sounds very sexy!  Is this what "letting oneself go" is all about?  Poor Myke.  At least I make sure I take a shower everyday.  I have that going for me.  Going to end here.  I'm sure I've already left you with quite the mental image of me lounging in sweatpants and a big t-shirt eating bon-bons.  Nice.

In the end this isn't about me....it's about the health of two tiny babies.   You just do what you have to do and hope for the best.  I'm so happy that I'm not sick, that I'm not physically unable to walk and confined to bed for life, that I can move and and talk and see and hear.  My bed rest is temporary.  For others stuck in bed it may be a lifelong thing.  I'm blessed that my bed rest is for a good reason...there is an end to all of this...and it's only a few weeks or couple months away!