Kyla
Oh my sweet golden girl...I miss you more than I ever could have imagined. I mean, I knew I would be sad and I knew pets don't live forever...but I just never imagined the emptiness I'd feel when you were left us. You were more a part of our lives and my being than I even realized. It has been less than 48 hours since we said goodbye so I know it's still "early" in the grieving process, but I just didn't know my heart would hurt like this.
my co-pilot
We looked at pictures of you on a big slide show on the tv last night and there were over 700 photos and videos! We didn't make it through all of them yet but it was so amazing to look back and see how you were there for EVERY. LITTLE. THING. Every baby we brought home, you were right there in the action, greeting them and sniffing them and soon loving them...followed by putting up with them! If we went on hikes, you came. If we went to the beach and it was a dog-friendly spot, you came. If we camped you came. If we went to a park, you came. If I went on a run, you came (before you got older and couldn't run as much...and then not at all). If we went on vacation and you could come, we brought you. We never ever, not once, put you in a kennel or boarded you. We never had to and I feel so lucky we didn't...as I would have worried about you the entire time. You were used to being by our side and you were a true "velcro dog" (someone told us that term when you were a puppy and it is so fitting...you were always stuck right to us. I wouldn't want it any other way).
You were so incredibly smart. You would walk and carry your own leash. As a puppy we trained you to nudge some jingle bells tied to a string by the door with your nose when you needed to go outside to the bathroom. You quickly realized you could ring the bell any time you even just wanted to go outside at all...even if you didn't have to go to the bathroom. When the bell was jingled, the door would open. You LOVED to have a job and when we got the mail you made sure we let you have a piece to carry in so you could earn that treat. Oh, you loved your treats! When my mom would visit it was your special job to bring in the newspaper that she would have delivered. You loved to be important and to earn those treats.
You were THE BEST greeter ever. The best guard dog ever, too. Maybe not so much in the past year as your hearing seemed to seriously decline and you wouldn't hear the doorbell anymore. Before that though, you would have thought a vicious Rottweiler was on the other side of our door if you rang our doorbell. You would bark like crazy! If people didn't know you they would be a bit hesitant to let you run up to them...I assured them that you were friendly. You always were. Always greeting people who came. As soon as you finished alerting us with barking, if the person came in you were quick to grab them a shoe or a sock or whatever you could find to bring to them as a welcome present. Who doesn't love a good shoe, right? That's what you must have thought. Because of you, our shoes were always scattered about the house (can we really blame this on you? I guess we will now see...). If we were missing one half of a pair of shoes the first place we'd look is by the cabinet where your treats were stored. At any given time there was 1-4 shoes without matches laying at the base of that cabinet. "If I bring a shoe will I get a treat?". It must have worked enough times that you thought so :).
As a younger dog you loved to chase sticks. The bigger the stick the better. We would go on hikes , find a stick, let you smell it and then chuck it FAR off into the bush and you would run and bound in and always would come back with that EXACT stick. It was uncanny. I don't know how you did it. You would search until you found it...and I remember one or two times you where you were unable to find it and you did not want to leave that spot. You would have continued searching until you found it ...but the hike had to go on.
Oh, and the beach and swimming. That was your HAPPY place unlike any other. As soon as you would get out of the car at the beach you would BOLT for the ocean and no amount of calling or yelling your name would get you to stop. This was the ONLY time that you didn't listen to us AT ALL. You had no control when it came to the ocean. You HAD to be in that water and you had to be there NOW. You would swim and fetch your water toys for hours on end if we let you. Then you'd take a break in the sand and dig crazy holes to lay in. We had so many happy times at the dog beach in Ocean Beach together. Swimming in the waterway that leads to the ocean together. Of any place in the world that I would call as yours, it would be the beach & ocean.
You seemed to sense human emotion and have a sense of sympathy empathy like many humans can't even grasp. When I was pregnant with Chloe and had gotten some jarring news about her chances of survival (do to possible kidney issues in utero) I was devastated and scared. You sensed it and you never left my side. You laid with my while I cried and nuzzled me while I laid in fetal position not knowing what the future would mean for me or my first baby. Chloe is fine...and in the end it is you that I lost to kidney problems.
Your loyalty was unmatched. Especially to me. You wouldn't go downstairs in the morning until I went down. I was your human mama. Always will be. You were my first dog & fur-baby. Always will be. If you happened to get locked out of the front gate you would just lay by it and wait for us to see you were there. Never would you run away. Always by our side...or lounging in some sunny spot. Like your spot by the one-car garage door. Or your grassy spot in the back. Soaking up the rays on your golden coat. You were a ray of sunshine yourself. You had the best smile ever. Especially in the mornings. You were loved by so many even outside our family. People miss you. Not just us. I know we miss you the most though.
That smile. That face. Such love.
Oh, we had the BEST times with you. You lived an amazing life...but 13 years just wasn't enough for me. I guess it was for you. I know you were ready. You had slowed down in the past year. You didn't require or ask for walks as much. You slept a lot. You also now insisted on getting up on the couch with us (something we used to never allow but in the past months decided we wanted you up there with us...we knew you were more comfortable up there than on the hard floor). I hope you weren't in too much pain in your final days. I know you never let us know when you were in pain. You hid it well. So I can only hope you weren't suffering too terribly. My hurt hearts to think that you could have been. I have to find peace and comfort in the fact that you went peacefully. That we all had the chance to say goodbye and pet and love on you in your final minutes. Girl, I love you SO much and had no idea the hurt would be this big. You were in my life for 13 fabulous years and I know that no other dog will ever replace what we were so lucky to have with you. Love to you my sweet pupsie-dog. My "Kwals", my "Ky-Ky", "Kwalsie-Bear". We will love you forever and never forget you.
Cards & flowers from friends & neighbors
At the vet
True Love. Ella's First Love.
Part of the family. No doubt.
My favorite running partner of all time
