Myke & Me Plus ThreeFour: Was This Really My Life???

What happened to my babies??? They are suddenly not babies and are little BOYS. I'm cleaning out the photos on my laptop. Where do I find the time to do that????, you ask?! ...I DON'T really have the time...but here it is Saturday afternoon, 3 kids are napping, Myke is napping and Chloë is having rest time. My laptop has informed me that I'm almost out of disk space so I'm trying to free up some space. I have thousands of photos on iPhoto and a bunch of them are duplicates, blurry, not worth keeping, etc...so clean out time so I can have space for new photos. In typical me-fashion, I get distracted from doing the task at hand and start doing a blog entry...because looking at all these old photos are churning up all these old (well, two years old) memories and making me reflect on the past. All started because, as I scan through all the photos on here I'm realizing that I don't even feel like I remember large chunks of time from when the boys were babies! Thank goodness I do have photos to try to evoke some of the memories...but a lot of the photos I just stare at and think, "I can't even remember having TWO babies crawling, or feeding TWO babies...man, that must have been tough!" However, I don't remember it being tough at all really. It just was what it was. I think the hardest part about it was that it was just so busy and non-stop that I never really had the time to sit and absorb it all. Myke and I talk about that a lot lately, since we've had Ella. I feel like I really am enjoying every moment of her...really trying to take it all in. I love to just cuddle her and squeeze her squishy soft rolls. I love to smell her baby-fresh smell and just stare at her stunning blue eyes. I'm SO in love. I don't remember that with the boys. I know I loved (and still do) them but it must have been so non-stop that I never had time to let it all sink in. It was feed one baby, put him down, feed the next baby, put him down, burp first baby, burp second baby, change clothes after first baby spits up on me, etc... Not as much one-on-one time. I guess that's just how it is with twins. There is a lot of going-through-the-motions to get everything done and taken care of. Sometimes I wonder if I gave them enough love and snuggles. Sometimes I wonder if I'm giving them enough love and snuggles now. I was never one to say HOW much more difficult twins were than a singleton because, in all honesty, I felt that Chloë as a baby was HARDER than the twins when I compare the two experiences. Some of it is first-time parenting. Some of it is temperament. I don't feel like the twins were necessarily HARD. I didn't celebrate "surviving the first year" as I hear a lot of twin parents do...I didn't find it all that hard. I'm not in any way saying that Myke and I are super-parents (we are, of course, but that's not the reason it was easy..ha ha :))...I just honestly think the boys were easier than Chloë. Chloë was held so much at the beginning (not blaming any particular grandparent, but some of them...no names mentioned.. had a hard time putting down the adorable little baby Chloë) that she didn't nap out of someone's arms until she was nearly 4 months old. She was also never content in any one spot for more than 10 minutes. So she required a lot. She was worn in a wrap a lot. She was "high-maintainence" in my opinion (and still is!). Also, we were first time parents so we were probably rushing to "fix things" every time she so much as whimpered. With the boys it just couldn't be that way. We learned from our first child. We started putting them down awake from the start so they could learn to sooth themselves. They were much more content babies. They would sit for long periods of time in their swings or bouncy seats and just watch the world go by. That's all I really remember about their baby-hood. Thank goodness for pictures!